Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dreams Come Crashing Down

She sat there looking out across the water of the lake, knees pulled tightly to her chest, as though to let them loose would somehow make her vulnerable. The sun had begun to set and the cool warmth of a summer night hung in the air, waiting for the rays of light to disappear completely. Her eyes watched as the colors of the sky danced upon the water. She took the beauty around her in like a deep breath, but she was so scared to let it go, fearing that it would all disappear with the simple act of exhaling. There was nothing she could do but let it out and when she did, all she had been trying so hard to hold in began to come apart. She placed her head on her knees and let her body silently shake with the sobs she fought to keep silent.

Most people would have described Cassidy Connor as a girl with a good head on her shoulders. Everyone knew she was going places. Her entire life she had been working towards being more than what others around her aspired to. Most people she knew were content with living out their life in a small town, with small dreams, accomplishing small tasks, but not her. She believed that this place was only a pit stop on her journey to something so much more. She had it all figured, until today.

By the time she regained control, and lifted her head, the sun had disappeared completely. Somewhere in the distance she could hear the sound of kids playing and cars passing by. She couldn’t remember how long she had been sitting there, and was sure that somewhere, someone was wondering where she was. Her thoughts did little to encourage her movement from that spot, but instead gave her the impression that if she stayed on that little blanket by the water everything would stay the same. Logically she knew staying there would not stop the change that was about to take place, but she clung to the illogical.

It took everything she had to push back the thoughts continually threatening to replay in her mind. The sound of doors slamming, the angry words that spilled out from both of them, the sound of squealing tires. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping that would silence the commotion in her head. As hard as she tried, there was no stopping the memories. It was like pushing the pause button on a remote with no batteries. Reality was spilling over the wall she had tried to build to keep it out. When she went home, everything that she knew would be gone.

The fight had started out like any fight does. She had lied again. It had become a recurring habit that she couldn’t totally explain. The only reason she could honestly give was that it gave her a certain rush to see how much she could get away with. It would suffice to say that she never really knew her lies could create the alternate reality she was now faced with. A lie to her was just that, a lie.

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