He Will Be...

He will treat me with respect. He will love me for who I am. He will think I’m funny, and completely corny. He will shake his head at me in a loving way that says, that’s my girl and even though she’s completely insane, she’s mine and I love her. He will tell me that he loves me every day. He will always have kind words for me. He will be slow to anger. We will fight, but we will fight fair.

He needs to be able to handle me. That in itself is a tall order.

My best friend and I were talking tonight about how we each deserve an amazing man, and how we will be so happy when that day happens. She stated that she likes to dream about it, and my response was that dreaming about it makes me sad. I want to have an idea about the man that I want to be with, but thinking about it depresses me. It’s not that I don’t want to find him, or that I don’t want to think about who he might be, but I get so tired of waiting for it to happen.

Please do not get me wrong. I am completely satisfied being single. In fact, I honestly can’t imagine being with anyone right now. I love the fact that I answer to no one but myself. I love who I am. I told a friend today that the reason I’m single is because I haven’t met a man that I thought I could love as much as I love myself. Now that might seem slightly vain, but the truth is, I’ve learned to love who I am, and I don’t want to change for anyone. I want to be sure that the man I end up with loves everything about me, because I don’t want who I’ve become to ever change.

Now, all of that being said, it still sucks sometimes that I am alone. My younger sister has been married for three years. My cousin, who is a year younger than me, has been married for a little over a year. My cousin who is three years younger than me is getting married in November. My little brother is getting married in the spring. I keep telling myself that it shouldn’t hurt this bad. I keep telling myself that someday I will understand why I have had to wait so long. But it still sucks sometimes.

It’s hard walking this line between loving being single, and wanting to be a couple. People always seem to have the answer. It will happen when I least expect it. When I stop looking, that’s what I’ll find him. Being single is the best thing that could happen to you. The grass is always greener on the other side. Everyone seems to have some piece of advice that will help me through whatever feeling I’m going through at the moment, but the truth is…I’m the only one who can determine how I handle all of this. Today, I choose to be happy that I am single. That’s all there is to it.